You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
