you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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