Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Little spoons don't ask big questions
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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