I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Of course I have a pirate flag
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
