how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
