I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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