Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
