i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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