Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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