so let's talk penis.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
