Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
