dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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