i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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