Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
