I could have mohawked her pubes.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
