I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We had to coat check the pizza.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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