I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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