i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
