she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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