Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
