Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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