There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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