We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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