I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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