I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
