Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
