Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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