i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
