doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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