They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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