Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
