she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
