a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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