So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I party with great urgency now.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
