She's JV to your varsity
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
