Having a random hookup so left but love u
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Randomize
