shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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