Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
