are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
