your room smells of hookers.
And success
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just pee around me
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Pants are for mortals
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
