cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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