I cut my penus on the lid.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Operation Purity has been aborted
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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