Dual....:-)
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Randomize
