I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
