I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
