butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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