He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
4 words: hood of his car
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
