I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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