I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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