His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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