at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
