i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
